Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Excitement got me stuck

I was really very serious. I mean it. I was all set to go - work on one of my books as soon as everyone else in my family began their classes on Monday evening.

Well, as usually happens, my well-laid plans get turned upside down by someone and sometimes that someone is me. Yeah, little ole me.

With eager anticipation of time alone to write, I said good bye to my husband as he left the house about an hour before his first class. I locked the door and headed to my desk.

Um, well, here goes, nothing, what? nothing? and so it went for about have an hour. In between perplexing questions, I checked my email and read my friend's blog. I also thought about decorations for my daughter's wedding. Realizing that this was not working out as I had expected, I made a cup of mint tea, grabbed my basket with my journal, small sketch pad, magazines and other porch time stuff and headed outside.

Writing in my journal revealed the reason for the blank mind and blank screen. Although I looked forward to Monday 3rd September, it just seemed to suddenly fall from the sky. I was alone at home and all my excited plans to write like crazy just crumbled. I felt a little lost. All right, I felt plenty lost.

It was all too real, surreal, whatever. Words did not come in the formal writing session as I envisioned. I realized that I needed some time to acclimatize myself to the new evening writing routine.

So I let go of my mental plan and immersed myself in writing in my journal, letting my mind slip into the comfort of unstructured writing. The anxiety and disappointment peeled away and my free writing spirit returned, accompanied by the sheer joy of just simply writing.

In the midst of that I made the decision to let the book project sit for the first week while I explore my true feeling about the change in everyone's routine and how it affected me emotionally.

It was a wise decision and an interesting process. By the end of the week I became aware of a milder, more controlled attitude about the extra hours that I was given to develop an evening writing schedule.

Monday 10th was my new start-date.

Of course to counteract that, the contractor for the new addition started work bright and early, Monday morning. Still I refused to let that be a spoke in my writing wheel.

In the mornings I'll work on articles for my Womanwise column then take a break to prepare lunch. After lunch and an hour to relax, I'll write in my journal and surf the net for no more than an hour. At two o'clock I plan to go back to working on the two articles for a new print magazine. Once those are submitted on Friday, I'll be free to fill the 2.00 - 4.00 p.m. time slot with other projects. Take a break and get my butt back to my chair at 5.30 pm to work on the book until 7.45 pm.

It worked quite well yesterday. I'm so proud. And it has been a successful day today, so far.
Maybe this is it. Maybe this is finally the schedule that will help me realize my dream of writing one of my three books.

We'll soon see, won't we.

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